dreaming of a white christmas

Well I know most of you are wondering where I’ve been…lets just say out and about. I am right now sitting in the bureau of the Peace Corps lounge. I’ve just heard the Fan Milk man toot his little horn. This signals that the ice cream cart is within range where for 100cfa a pop you can get an ice cold milk treat in a sac. The heat is too much to risk leaving the air-conditioned bureau for an ice cold treat. How I feel for that Fan Milk man trying to pedal his way through the sandy pit called Lome in search of herds of Yovos with spare pocket change. One things for sure in Togo since I’ve been here. They are not starving.

At least in my region. In joining the Peace Corps I had these ideas of going to sub-saharan West Africa to help the starving children. Well not exactly but most people do have those ideas. I can honestly tell you from what I’ve seen there may not be a well balanced diet, but they are not suffering to the extent that you see on tv infomercials. It’s not that I am here to bring these people up from the depths of poverty and I am now understanding that I am really here on a cultural exchange. So as long as I reach someone and connect with my village…I will in part be doing my job.

Life in village is fine and all but lately I have been kind of fed up with a whole lot of people. The gens have been a bit too much lately. You sure can’t hide from anyone in my village and most often during the day when there are way too many teens out sitting on their ass doing nothing..because there really is nothing to do. Same with me… I am bored out of my gourd.

I have however started to formulate some idea of whay work I may be able to accomplish in village…and as time passes maybe I’ll be able to get things up and running..but as for now I am awaiting the Holiday season with Wil in tow…he arrives tout suite!!


Update: 12-16

So Wil arrives in days now and so crazy it’s been about 6 months since we parted. I can’t imagine having to go another 6 months but that’s life..I will cherish the time we will get to spend together over the holidays even if it is 12 days short-lived. I talked to him the other night to get flight info and I can just see me jumping into his arms at the airport after trying to entertain myself with quite anticipation ….

Christmas here is hard but not as hard as I may have thought. I have decorated my house with cut snowflakes and dried pepper mistletoes…popcorn garland and some wonderfully donated twinkle lights from the Baptist missionaries. The only thing different is sweating my ass off as we enter harmattan season..the dry season here in Togo. Even though all of you are home shovelin snow …layering up and making cookies and trimming the tree…..I am trying to do just as much here. I’m even jammin’ to some good ole Christmas tunes…even though I can’t stand them most years..here you need all the reminders of the seasonal cheer you can get… The only thing missing is all that family…I am so glad to at least get Wil here with me. But it still won’t be the same without all of you. I miss you all so much..

So as for me I know I’ve mentioned earlier that village life had me on my last nerve..well it ain’t so bad lately. I feel like since I was gone for a bit with work in the capital they missed me a bit. My friends in village even want to throw a fete for when Wil gets here. I think they missed me a bit cause everyone has been more than hospitable. I even enjoy hanging out with them. I taught my omelet guy who runs a little café how to increase his menu options hoping to turn him into the next starbucks or city diner. We had a lesson in French Toast..and it was a hit. I am trying to teach him new options for what he can make with the ingredients he has on hand…so when one make egg sandwiches and omelets..you move into..french toast, quiche, develied eggs, and then throw in some new things like baked goods and cakes. He recently bough a gas oven and stove along with a fridgerator which he has yet to fully utilize so I prepared a list of questions for him to think about what he can do to get the most out of these investments. That’s the problem here..they make impulse purchases once they save whatever they can because they think automatic development comes with new appliances..humm sound like our culture too? But they need to continue thinking about how this new device is going to create revenue once they pay off the expense in purchasing it. Forward thinking is not popular here. They sit in anticipation waiting for you to tell them what to do and how to do it. That is how it goes.

So other than that ..life is the same. I have all the anticipation in the world to start my agricultural (café and cacoa) groupment on the path to Fair Trade (Commerce Equitable)…work with the artisans in Kpalime in the same manner…try to organize groupments (savings associations) among market women, some clubs with the lycee students-running-art…and all while trying to enjoy life in Togo. But the funny thing with me here is I have never felt so lazy in all my life and with such a lack of drive and motivation. I don’t know what it is about this place..can’t keep blaming it on the heat. But for some reason I am having a hard time trying to pump myself up to do anything. I miss the energy the states has..everyone in a constant progression forward. You have to try to work at these things a lot harder here while everyone sits around waiting for things to change on their own or in quiet contentment for life as it is.

I’m sorry that everytime you read my blog it seams as if quiet complaints underlind the fact that I am not enjoying life here. I do enjoy some things..other times feel I am in a prision..but I am not ready to leave..this country is forcing me to figure out things about myself ..what I want out of life and how people live outside of the little bubble of the great US of A. I am not ready to leave but hope that I can start to figure out how to increase my capacity of enjoying my time here and stop thinking of all the things I want to do and become once I leave. It’s a nice forced pause in my life since I know that if I was still in Chicago I would be running around filling my schedule with things to do. This place has slowed me down to a simple life..and I think I kinda like it. Like I’ve said before..

I’m ready for that home life…open up a bakery/café…live small and simple..without the daily grind.

Wishing you all the best this Holiday Season…I hope that Santa reaches you in good cheer….health and safety. I miss the snowflakes and gingerbread men…spicy hot cocoa from Vosges and marshmallows, sugar canes, icicle lights, smell of evergreen and even the feel of defrosting after coming in from the cold. Family and friends and giving gifts…even some of the stress associated with finding the perfect Christmas gift. Wow..my first Christmas in a place far far away…where I am still in flip flops and tank tops wiping the sweat from my brow.

more to come...please stand by...

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http://www.flickr.com/photos/life_of_megs/

Il pleut?

this is a birds eye view of my home

(see more photos of mine on www.flickr.com (search under)- The Life of Megs)
Okay so this is the raining season currently and we are not to expect the dry season until the end of December but for some reason the past 4 days we haven’t had much if an rain and I’m wanting it to pour at any moment. It’s so funny how much I love rain here. I am getting pretty good at forecasting the clouds now and can tell based on the heat and wind cycles when exactly the rain will hit again. Blossoming into a tried and true Togolaise or if anything maybe I can go into weather forecasting when I get home. So I know it’s been ages since I had another post pop up on my blog. Well I have my reasons. I have been unable to leave my village to use the internet in another village until the elections for Togo’s legislative body are over. Well they are over now, and all is calm and nothing has changed. As they say here “Rien Changes.”
It is easier for me to breakdown my updates into categories for fear that if I don’t you will hear a lot of babbling and ranting…but to let you know..I am doing well. One day I’m up …one day I’m down, this trip is an endless rollercoaster through victory and struggle. Peace Corps said it and man they were right..”the toughest job you’ll ever love” When I was back in the states if I had a bad day at work I would go home, vent to Wil, maybe go for a relaxing run along the lakefront. Heck, even get out a bottle of wine and have a nice dinner and lose myself to the moving pictures on a tv screen and the reality that I could pause my life to be immersed into another. Here…. You have a hard time finding that pause button. Here, I don’t have my boyfriend, my family, all things familiar and within easy access…no place where I can run and not be watched, “yovo’ed” …I have too much time and space for reflection. If you know me well..that could be a bad thing. Here one has too much time to think about themselves, what they are doing, what they need to do, what they want to do, how they should do it..how they are viewed by all of the village..and the list goes on. A lack of structure in the program really makes a person look inside to develop. I know I am going to get a lot out of this experience but man oh man….I can’t wait until it get’s a bit more comfortable. Another problem is that I need to create the program myself. Peace Corps does a good job of training and making resources available but once you get into village and if you are not taking over for a volunteer who is leaving some work to be finished you really have to start from scratch. In that it means that I need to get to know people in my village I can trust and also try to figure out what type of advise I can give to people who are afraid of change and only think things will work if money was involved. They live day to day here so new ideas are not a thought because it means investment and how do you invest in something that you have no idea will work, when you have no way of obtaining the capital for it either. It’s a risk.
Work life:
Since the elections are finally over (well not quite yet..still recounting the votes) I will start my work with my main counterpart in Adeta. I am hoping to set up an office in their bureau so I can get out of the house more often. I don’t know how anyone who works from home doesn’t feel like a shut-in. Maybe not in the states, where most people are but here..when I stay at home reviewing materials I feel like the village thinks I am avoiding them. In reality I need to prepare for them. I read up on my French every day and will someday start tutoring if I need it. The organization that I will be working with deals with farmers of café and cacao. I need to help them in the way they organize their office and would also like to help them in the development of a better production of coffee bean. The organization is basically a cooperative where all these farmers gather to determine selling price, buying price, discuss buying and using fertilizers and also do stock age. They work in a very democratic way and I have been impressed by their structure. I would love to help them increase whatever capacity they can while here in Togo. I talk to them about the difficulties of export, and the reasons why many Americans buy their coffee from South America, and other regions where the beans are more robust and richer. They are very interested in wanting to have their crops reach a larger export market. And for the most part find a way to directly export their grain to the European countries that currently buy it from Togo. Erase the middle-man. Which is hard to do in a country where individual farmers and let alone groupments or cooperatives/unions don’t have the capital to sell directly. Also, as of now a lot of the grain gets shipped to neighboring countries to be processed and sold. There are very few places in Togo that roast and grind the grains, and even then …they sell it locally to a small population in the capital and larger cities. In Togo, even though coffee is a big crop, the people here drink imported instant “Nescafe.” There is not a strong capacity for production and their grains cannot compete with other familiar and long popular coffee that comes from other countries. If anyone has any way to send me different tips and tools on what I can teach them by way of developing and harvesting better crop, both café and cacoa…I would be very grateful. With the lack of internet..”google?” and books and resources, my teaching is only from what I currently know. So if anything can be sent..here is some requests…
Samples of different coffee beans…with the name and origin.- (whole grain, or even bags of ground grain)
A small coffee grinder
A moka pot and/or French press
Books and literature on coffee growing and how to create a stronger flavor, better grain.
Information on roasting, grinding and processing.
Information on “Free-Trade” products (even, sending me bags of coffee and cacoa products from Whole Foods, Starbucks and other coffee shop chains to see current market trends and desires)
Any experience and insight that is out there…I know a lot of you who love your coffee so send me any info and tools you can..so maybe one day you’ll be drinking a hot cop of Togo Joe.

Updates on fun times”

On a lighter note.. I will finally get to see my boyfriend in 2 months and counting.. I can’t tell you how excited I am. He will be here on the 18th of December to spend a mere two weeks with me over Christmas. It’s not much but I’ll take it. This has been a hard 5 months being so far apart but we are doing great.
I have become a baker since my time here. I bake scones almost every other day in my little Dutch oven. (Basically a pot on top of my gas burner) I can’t tell you how amazing they are here and much better than any I’ve made in the States. You are really missing out! I even told Wil of my thoughts of coming home after all of this and opening a bakery…yup..Megan’s love of food has driven her to the point of wanting to be a baker. That’s what Africa has done to her thus far.
I am settling in well and have been going out more often with a small group of friends I have made here. I met a lot of people through an ONG (NGO) FAGAD, a French ONG that works with development and activities for young children here in Togo, some orphans of AIDS. I got a chance to meet a great Japanese girl before she finished up and left for home, and am currently hanging out with a girl from France who has helped me with my French and I have consulted her on her English. She’s great and I invite her over for coffee and scones and just to share our languages. She thinks it crazy how long I will be here, sometimes reminding myself of the same thought. She will leave at the end of October as many of the volunteers that work there only stay for a couple weeks-months at a time.
If anything I have to realize that this is a truly worldly experience that I am having here and should embrace it. Not many people could make this work and I know I can. It’s rough even though my housing conditions are great. It’s hard being alone in a foreign country. This is the first time I’ve lived in my own place and the funny thing is how extreme I’ve made it by not only living alone, but I am all alone in a village that doesn’t speak my language or can relate in any way to my way of life. It’s strange how things work here…especially emotions. I will have to reassure you that I only had one crying outburst since I’ve been here so no I am not sitting here in a fit of depression. I am loving many days and hating others, getting excited about learning new things and then wanting to escape from it all and hide. It is day to day here. Overall I am not ready to leave and know that I still have so much work to do here and so much to learn and gain from this experience.

I wanted to send some thanks out to all of you who have sent me care packages. I can’t express how much it helps to get pieces from home. I will try to mail out cd’s of photos and letters as soon as possible to all of you. Since it may be easier than trying to post things to a blog with an internet connection that runs at a rate of circa 1992.
Mom- the package was wonderful and I loved everypart of it…you are the best mom I could have ever wished for.
Carolyn, Hugh-I can’t thank you enough for everything, you guys are and forever will be part of my family.
Kate, Joe and the gang- That package was perfect and unexpected…thanks sooo much
Jules- I’ve got your wonderful letters, news updates and made those combos last a full week of cheesy goodness. I need your address and hope you are well in China. I’ll try to send something your way..sweetie! And I just found out the news and couldn’t be more happier for you two! I wish I was there to express a big round of congrats!!! Hearing that news makes me miss Wil even more, you two are truly lucky for one another, never forget it!
Heather, Louise and gang- Thanks so much for the goodies.. I will be mailing you the Subway Coupons from the Reeses wrappers. Since I have no use for them here and I know how you love those fake chicken subs. I know how busy EA can be…keep those letters coming..Jodie? Kat?
Dianna and Lydia and Christine- THANKS! Love the memories of good ole EA..and congrats about ..Dianna-good luck in England! Christine-I am soo happy for you and sad to miss the most special day of your life..good luck with planning on “no rain” and Lydia, take care of the office for me…I miss my work routine but know all is still there. Send me catalogs of the new collections and publications if you ever get a chance. I loved the photos of the office life…I MISS YOU all !
Thanks everyone! And Keep those letters coming..it’s good know that you have people from home who are supporting you and want to know that you are not alone. I miss you all but will be back sooner than you can say “Hot Tomato!”

Over and out…Megs

100+days in Togo and 1 month at post

Hey there all…

Since internet has been down and I have been unable to get to my email this post is a bit late in arriving with news of a more enjoyable time in Togo. My last two weeks at post were great and I can see what I can occupy my time with to make me feel more at place here in this crazy country.

I have met a huge amount of village folk and sit with them often just to meet and greet and to try to offer up any advice I may have or their businesses. I am much more at ease and comfortable in my village and really am starting to settle in. I can see where these people need me but it is still such a strain on me to maintain comfort here. I feel so sedintary..sit around the house reading..then I walk the rounds in village which is equivalent to half my neighborhood in Chicago. I went for a bike ride one day and nearly died of heat exhaustion till I was within a 1kilometer of completing the 20k return journey and saw the Fan Milk guy (the ice cream man in Togo). I flagged him down and secured a pouch of cold yougurt to make the final hill back into village. Refreshing..took a shower and napped. So unlike me if you know who I am.
The hardest part of this all is the change of pace..well combines with the change of living standards, lack of sanitation and refrigeration and ohh yeah the language barrier. For me at the moment is the energy factor. I miss my hometown running routine and am hoping to tap into the Yoga movement while here. Running is a stress here and making a space to stretch and calm myself inside will be the best thing for me. If only I attended more yoga sessions before leaving the States. So to any of you out there (Heather my trainer ?) Please send me any Yoga/Pilates? Home workout materials…charts of poses, instruction DVD ‘s mix cd’s to jazz it up….magazine workout pages. Running will come back to me soon and maybe I’ll turn it back up after I leave the heat of West Africa..so here I’ll work to strengthen the core. I mean I’ve already had a successful running career, Boston Marathon 2007 !
Aside from that I can report that Adeta is a great village full of friendly people. I feel lucky to be posted in such a wonderful village. Not only that but a nice house. I am so excited be able to receive any visitors that may want to make a trip to this country. Any takers? There is an American Baptist Hospital that is 4k away in case any of you come down with what I think I may have. No need to worry about me I am moving and heallthy except for what I think may be Giardia. I am at the maison right now and have been for the past two days strucken with what I feel like is that scene in « Spaceballs » where the guy at the diner comes down with indigestion and an alien pops out of his gut. My gut makes noises….and I am waiting for something to climb out at any moment. I won’t talk about my bowel movements…you really don’t want to know. Let’s just say America is this wonderful place where you can eat an apple fresh from the grocery store where it is chilled and you don’t have to soak it in bleach for 20 min before chomping down on it. Not to mention public sanitation and drinkable tap, hot running water and not having to think about what precautions to take before ingesting anything. We’ve got it good in the US of A. Just remind yourself that daily.

So wish me luck as I prepare a stool sample to send to the med unit. Maybe I should just name what is in my gut as long as he is living with me. No need to worry…I have a pleasent life in village with wonderful people.

So far here are my projects that I have thought of could possibly be done with in village…let me know if you have any contacts
library_Togolese children dont get access to books here
girls running club:need donated running shoes and possibly sport bras
i havve many more ideas but are more localized to specific businesses so i will post them as they come

basically books and shoes are what im thinking for a possibility in the future once i scope it out some more

mom....dont worry toomuch about me..if there was anything really big and serious youd be getting phone calls from me

news....my boy Wil is coming to spend Christmas in Togo with me ...send me Christmas decorations when the time comes ...no need for the mistle toe though...absence makes the heart grow fonder is right...i miss that boy so much and am counting the days till he arrives from dusty Mauritania....


i love Adeta and my village folk and will post better stories once i am not sitting in front of a French keyboard...take care all and im doing great....

send spices.....nutmeg too

third weeks a charm right?

Let me just preface this by saying “week one” went much better….so enter..”week 2”

I can honestly say that I thought week 2 at post was off too a good start. I returned from a weekend at the maison regional, refreshed and ready to get to know my post. I was in good spirits as I got in the 15 passenger van headed back to Adeta with a couple of nice Togolese women and my friend Allison. We chatted it up…I used my best French conversation and found the ride enjoyable at most, even as the fumes from the exhaust poured in from the half closed trunk. Then the women I’m sitting with start humming the tune from the Lion King in French..well I join in the chorus in English and it caught them off guard. …”in the jungle the mighty jungle..the lion sleeps tonight….ahh weem ahweem a way …..” They then make me write the lyrics out in English to teach them. (Note: one goal of Peace Corps was achieved in this interaction) I made a cultural connection. Great! Sunday went well and I was back home ready and refreshed for Monday when I would go to my groupments meeting and listen in and then head out to marche.

Well Monday went well…the meeting was very structured and well run. I am assisting a agricultural groupment who deals with café and cacao. (Farming, loans, stockage, buying and selling) This meeting involved the Presidents of other groupments that all reside under this main umbrella groupment. The meeting was about the purchasing of manure, and fertilizers on credit. Together they devised a contract for farmers that need fertilizers bought on credit, in a way that would show the responsibility of the parties involved and the terms under which it is held. The all came to the idea of the layout and voted democratically and at the end of the meeting there was a form already laid out to be passed on to all the groupments. I was amazed at the efficiency of it all..something you don’t see from time to time here. I had fun writing notes in French trying to get used to hearing agricultural terms.

Then came Tuesday and as much as I was ready to head out for a run..nature struck. I felt like a case of amoebas…runs…..fever…who knows. So it pretty much meant house arrest for Megan..no biggie since it rained all day and when it rains, nobody’s out and about. Sick.

Wednesday.hummm I have now confirmed that even though I may be a lucky one and have running water in my house..I don’t “chaque mercredi” “c’est coupe” So since like clockwork it happened again…every Wed. no running water from morning till sun down. At least it’s on a schedule. Tig came in to visit me and we headed out to Kpalime to pick up bank “debit”..YEAH cards and go to the post. All was going well…got to Kpalime…stopped by the vet and talked to him about the needs for the two little cats I have..Perfect..what? advantage flea drops for their head and de-worming meds..750fcfa? ($1.50) sweet…go to the bank and pick up debit card for the brand new atm they installed…perfect!...go to the post to get mail ..find a letter from Julie!..Yeah a letter..getting better!..go to eat lunch ..mmm fresh salad..french fries and mint ice cream..yeah
Okay so on the way back it starts to rain and I realize I am at the wrong station (Tig was heading south and I..north so we parted ways)..have to run to the other side of town and get in a hatchback with 10 other passengers because the driver can’t say no…getting dark and I need to make it back…it is times like this when one is wedged into a hatchback where the driver poured just enough petrol in to make it to the destination..the tires probably have never been changed as I feel every bump in the road..the doors and trunk are pretty much tied in place and it doesn’t seem like his headlights work too well…where I wonder if we were to crash…would I feel the impact or will all these people around me cushion the fall…hummm…best not to think about the crashing part.
So get home finally and then the shit hits the fan….someone calls…it’s the teller from my bank..”Do you need something? Is there a problem with my account?..ohhno..He just wants to tell me that he wants to call me and can’t stop thinking of me…arrrggg..I tell him “no sorry..not free to talk…can’t call me…”hang up….then come the text messages…It sucks being an American woman in Togo…when the bank teller decides to use your personal information from you account and call you up to say that he’d like to get to know you better…hummm confidentiality in Togo..nope…so he continues to text in English..broken…”I just want to make friends with you and get to know you better…you interest me”… so I have to reply..”got a husband..here for work…no time…”
Phone lines are open and he is standing by waiting for me to call….(take note: while all this is happening I am administering the meds to the cats..very carefully) couple of drops on the head to stop fleas….crush ¼ tablen in food to help de-worm. They seem to be well.
Then I get a call from Wil..and luckly we get to talk for a bit then …phone cuts…so that puts me in a sour mood…then I look over and notice that the one cat is drooling profusely…and seems freaked out…okay..now foaming at the mouth….twitching….great!! what have I done…I’m running around trying to clean his mouth..make him drink water…now the other one is twitching..foaming at the mouth..ahh what have I done..I’ve poisoned these cats…they are agonizing..now they are shitting all over the place diarrhea….ahhh…it’s getting late..I keep texting Tig (she used to be a vet) asking what to do…maybe I got some bunk meds from the vet and now I’ve killed the cats! I can’t sleep..freaking out …they are foaming at the mouth..running around trying to bathe the medicine off their heads…so I try to make them as comfortable as possible and then get some sleep ..hoping that I will not wake up to two dead kittens…
Thurs. morning…
Wake up..cats are alive and seem to be a bit better. I decide to use the flea shampoo and bathe them. After more distress they seem to relax…the one has head twitches and seems bothered by something the rest of the day….what can I do..I’m in Togo. I decide to do things around the house and not head out until the afternoon. I constantly feel like a prisioner in my own house..fear of steppingout in public since it takes so much out of you. You’d have to be here in my “yovoness” to know what I mean..more texts from bank guy…won’t stop..then a couple other guys come by to see what I am up to. Shit…where can I get some lady friends here in Togo..all the guys want to be my friend but I have to sway their intentions and that takes a lot. Some of them are nice though..and I know could be good friends…but they always want to know what you are up to.
So I head out and decide to go to my “host family” where before I had helped him type a document …brought some cookies…stopped by for a little visit and they make me type another document …don’t even ask me..just make me read some chicken scratch
French..typing on a French keyboard…not knowing what or how to spell what I’m typing..well that just threw me for a loop…the way it was thrown at me…ohh well I guess it is in repayment for the dinner the other night. I hope it doesn’t become constant or I may have to start a keyboarding/computer class. Mannerisims are quite different here in Togo. There is not that sense of knowing when one is being “rude” here…

Well after that ..I though..I need to get away from all this drama…back to the maison to decompose for a day or two…and then I’ll start week three on a clean slate. In hopes for a better attitude….heck maybe I’ll stay out of the house most of the week..hummmm. grin and bear it and hope it gets better…..

I can’t tell you how hard this has been for me and how I wish I will get excited at some point about being here but right now I am still in survival..maintain sanity mode….i miss my Chicago routine more than one can imagine.

Fin de stage

So all is done and now we have the opportunity to start fresh. Stage is nearing the end and we are all getting ready to head to Lome and by the time you will be reading this post I will be in Lome plugging it on to the computer since for one I will be with a great internet connection. And so it goes…

How do I feel? Well I still think I am here for all the right reasons but I can’t even express the difficulties one must endure from day to day. Emotional difficulties. I am having a hard time being myself when one is in such a controlling environment. Make the most of the situation and yet I am still running and hiding just trying to find quiet time alone. I have little energy to do a lot of things and hope that all of that will return once I get to post. My emotions roll in waves through the day and I have a lot of ups and downs. One moment I’m up and excited and then I crash and just want to sleep. I think it’s dietary changes, environment changes, and the feeling that whatever I do I’m being watched and if you know me…I don’t like to be on display all the time. It’s too much.

And I’ve talked to my boyfriend who is in Mauritania right now..far far from me. That poses another difficulty. After being so close for two years now we are miles apart. I have gotten to talk to him at length for just two times Thanks in part to his parents and their involvement in setting up a conference calling system (3-way). It is too expensive to call Togo to Mauritania and since we don’t have internet yet Skype is out of the question. But the boy is well and we are already planning when we will be able to see each other…in mid December.

Anyone out there got a pen and paper?
Also I have yet to receive a letter in written form from anyone. I can’t stress enough how important letters and photos from home have become. I’ve gotten a couple packages and I appreciate everything inside but that stuff is just novelty, my emotions are crying out for some contact from home…written on paper…I need letters. I have not received a single one. Much more so than packages. And if you do send a package..please….please…send a letter in it. Newspaper clippings from home, photos, anything personal. That is all I need right now and one knows how important it is when they haven’t gotten any. Wil has sent me a letter from Mauritania but who knows if it will ever reach me. Please write snail mail to me since internet connectivity is unreliable and few and far between. It will probably be that way until December where they may run another promotion on Illico (the home internet for Togo). It is too expensive right now for a Peace Corps Volunteers budget. Sorry to stress this even harder but when one is at the end of the emotional string and gets a little excited when a package arrives….she tears past all the goodies from home and doesn’t find but a single letter….anything personal….the tears return. You could never imagine how important letters are until you are worlds away and long for them in times of emotional discourse.

So…words on the Togo side…

We are all ready to get to work and head to our respective villages and therefore I can say that we are all done with structure and group activity. Yeah but that doesn’t mean that when we get to post we will be heading off in pursuit of meeting up again. The closest volunteer to me is about 30k away and we have already planned our first bike ride to meet each other. Ohh and we have also been planning our great big thanksgiving feast so feel free to start sending me Thanksgivin fixins-gravy packets, seasoning packets, stove top, meat and cheese tray, dessert kits, (yellow cake mix with chocolate fudge frosting), coffee cake mixes, snack mix, etc….goldfish crackers, chex mix, poptarts, mmmmm

Ahhh…man I miss Chicago and the great US of A….

And now we are all sworn in and after speaking with WIl and comparing notes I am learning more about myself everyday.

These are some facts that I am ready to post:

I am sooo over group activities, esp when you are all on emotional rollercoasters and you are stuck in Africa and stuck in Togo.

I have never wanted to be alone so much as I do now. I will need to in order to maintain sanity.

I need an injection of happy serum because for some reason most of the time I am easily agitated and irritated and not excited.

Stage sucks but post is better so my emotions are improving. Post will also be even better once Wilcomes for a visit...three months in counting :(

wish me luck...you may not see a post for a while since there is no internet cafe in my town and there may not be working internet in the other town I have to bike to.

so snail mail me!

on y va!

Images of Togo

Lovely Pagne Cloth....